Like so many others, my heart stopped when I first learned about the Orlando Shooting in a Gay nightclub on Sunday, June 12th. I quickly checked my inner guidance. Were both my daughter and daughter in law okay? They are often in Orlando and also perform their fire spinning program in night clubs.
Although my intuition reassured me, I still texted my daughter. Were they both alive and well? The answer came back "Alive and Well" along with a question about her blood type so she could donate to the blood bank.
Relieved, I then pondered why this happened during the holiday of Shavuot when Jews celebrate the giving of the Torah to Moses on Mt. Sinai. During the first night of Shavuot which began sundown on Saturday, many Jews throughout the world gather together and stay up the entire night studying Torah. The shooting began at approximately 2 a.m. Sunday morning when much Light was being released into the world from this sacred Torah study.
The next day, I had even more to ponder when I realized that 49 people had been murdered. With the shooter being killed there were 50 people who had died! These are the same numbers that are associated with Shavuot!
The Hebrew word "Shavuot" actually translates as "Weeks" as there are seven weeks or 49 days of preparation beginning right after Passover for each one of us to receive the Light of the Torah on Shavuot.
We follow a seven week program of self reflection and improvement. Each day for 49 days we focus on a different aspect of ourselves connected to the Sefirot which are part of the mystical teachings of the Kabbalah. We basically bring to the surface hidden or darker parts of ourselves. With the release and healing of these aspects we prepare ourselves to hold an increased amount of Light from the Torah which we will receive on Shavuot, the 50th day.
But seeing these correspondences didn't give me answers I could give to my daughter when I finally spoke to her on Tuesday. She was in the midst of grieving for her community, for her friends who lost loved ones, for the hatred that had surfaced.
I could only listen with my heart knowing that much darkness has been brought to the surface for us to all heal together. And the only way I believe that can happen is through Love.
During our conversation my daughter shared that she has recently been spending time each day sending Love to various people, even with those where there is friction. It seems that as a result she has experienced many random acts of kindness including strangers buying her coffee, giving her gift cards, even unexpected gifts. We discussed how sending Love has changed her energy field as well as everyone she encounters.
On Sunday the day of the shooting, my daughter posted on her facebook page,
"So sad and confused. My heart goes out to everyone coping. But don't allow this to restore your fear. Both fear and faith are belief in the unknown. Choose wisely.
LOVE, Not Hate."
It is only now as I write that I realize that 49 adds up to 13 which is the numerical value of "Ahavah," the Hebrew word for Love!
It seems Love has been the message all along....