A Doggy Purim Megillah
This is the story of Purim according to the secret, untold, uncensored and unrealistic book of Raf Raf Purim.
The Raf Raf megillah was accidentally discovered by Ganef the Dog who was routinely hiding his stolen shoes in the yard only to discover this sacred book in one of his digs.
And we all dig that!
The book was authenticated by Dr. Beauty the Dog who is the curator of the Canine Institute of Biblical and Bone Treat Studies.
So it's like this: In a faraway place called Purr..sia lived a king by the name of Achashve-Dog. He has just married a new Jewish princess from Boca who is known as Queen Esta-Dog.
Things would have been just nice and dandy except that there was also a very poor and sick dog called Hey-Man. But since he was a dog - we call him Hey-Dog.
Since Hey-Dog wanted to be the head honcho, the big cheese, the big shot, he used to cruise the city on his fancy shmancy motorcycle like all leaders of the packs do.
He demanded that all the dogs pay tribute to him by giving them their bones. No more Jewish bone sharing and bone donations to needy dogs, no more believing in the one holy DOG spelled backwards.
Mordechai the dog who is known as Morti-Dog and who is also known for creating the morti-gra in Rio Brazil and in Boca Raton, Florida refused to give Hey-Dog his Jewish bones and declared that all Jewish dogs who, of course, all go to heaven, should never give up their holy scriptures and their bones.
Well, let me tell you. Hey-Man aka Hey-Dog was furious!
He went to Achashve-Dog and demanded to eliminate all these Jewish undocumented or should we say illegal immigrants.
Since it was an election year Achashve-Dog did not want to cause barking fits in his kingdom. He removed his royal collar and gave it to Hey-Dog to sign his terrible decree to eliminate all the Jewish doggies and to confiscate all their treats.
This is when Esta-Dog, queen of the dogs of Purrr...sia swings into action. She invites her husband Achashve-Dog the King along with Hey-Man the Hey-Dog who was the leader-of-the-pack-want-to-be with his fancy Harley bike to a special feast at the Boca Raton garbage collection center.
All three of them really enjoyed the best garbage that the state of Florida can offer, along with the smell.
Florida, as we all know is a small province of the Kingdom of Purr...sia better known today as the dog house of the world.
Suddenly Esta-Dog the Queen reveals to her husband exactly what Hey-Man the Hey-Dog is planning for the Jews.
Since Esta-Dog is Jewish, Achashve-Dog is getting really super upset with Hey-Man, the Hey-Dog. He gets into a barking fit, running around like crazy knocking down trash cans with all of the goodies inside.
Finally, he decrees that Hey-Dog should be banished from his kingdom. He is to return all the bones and all the treats he had taken from everyone around him.
Hey-Man the Hey-Dog is leaving on the midnight train to Georgia and from there he is leaving on a jetplane and he does not know when he will be back again.
Needless to say, Achashve-dog and all the Jews of Persia were very happy and marched in a Barknival Carnival through the streets of Purrr...sia.
And that's the way it was.
Hey-Man!... I mean Amen!
Dogs, bring your humans to Doggy Purim when we retell the story of Esta-Dog who saved the Jews! March 11th, 4:00 p.m. - 5:30 p.m.
Doggy Purim Details