From Cantor Lee: Rabbi David wrote the following during the pandemic but updated it for today's world. Sometimes you just have to bring in a bit of humor to keep going! Thank you Rabbi David!
A Zoom Meeting with Heaven by Rabbi David
As I do every year at this time right before the High Holy Days, I contact the heaven’s department of Jewish affairs and respectfully request an angelic hearing about the present Jewish conditions around the world. I was expecting a nice quiet meeting in a prearranged place somewhere in West Boca, maybe at a kosher diner where I can present my case face to face with the Old Mighty’s angel rep in charge of our zip codes.
Much to my surprise I was instructed to use a zoom link for a meeting. The link will be delivered to my mailbox by some undisclosed heavenly means. There will be a temporary link which will evaporate after two days. All my Jewish complaints will be presented and evaluated in an orderly fashion. The angel in charge will review my grievances. I will be allowed to bring any supporting documents as attachments including maps, graphs, videos and other material stored in the clouds. All will be carefully scrutinized to check for any possible AI, heaven forbid! If necessary, I will then be contacted for further instructions.
For security reasons I will need a highly secretive password to link into the zoom meeting. Password: "Oy vey." I was looking forward to the zoom meeting.
I was assigned to an angel named Shmuel Rabinovitz who is in charge of earthly Jewish issues and kosher supervisions in the areas of Boca Raton and Disney World. He is the assistant secretary twice removed to Archangel Gavriel. As promised, a heavenly envelope with the special link appeared in my mailbox with the time and date specified for the meeting reminding me to use the secret password. (I will not repeat it here - too dangerous!)
Getting physically and spiritually ready for the meeting, I put on a nice clean shirt and a nice kippah just for the occasion. My beloved wife Cantor Lee, G-D bless her, noticed my excitement and asked about it. I told her that I was getting ready for an important zoom meeting with an angel assigned to my case in order to discuss some urgent Jewish matters. Cantor Lee, used to my Mishegas, rolled her eyes and said: “Well, don’t forget to clean up your desk from all the shmutz which has been sitting on it for the last three years. You don’t want the angel to think you are a messy rabbi, now, do you? And don’t forget to brush your teeth!” My beloved wife!
The big moment arrived. I went on the heavenly zoom and used the secret password. I finally met Angel Rabinovitz online. He was wearing a nice dark business suit with a Mickey Mouse tie and dark thick glasses. Nice angel. He said he was talking to me from some undisclosed location in the South Pole. I could see in the background several maps of the USA with red pins indicating most likely Jewish centers around the country. Seeing me looking at his map, he explained that he was getting ready to fly down on his glatt kosher merkavah (reindeers are so yesterday) and check on the Jewish people to see who has done some nice mitzvahs this year. I saw bags of kosher bagels meant for the nice Jewish boys and girls.
Angel Shmuel Rabinovitz pulled up his apple laptop and said “Well Rabbi, you wanted to see me?” Yes, I replied. I emailed you some reports ahead of the meeting. We are experiencing a lot of tumult here. As you can see in my report, our beloved Israel is struggling in a never ending war for survival. That war has been raging for almost a year and hostages are still being held. Israel has to fight for its existence on several fronts against very ruthless enemies. So many have perished. Our brethren in Israel are physically and mentally exhausted."
Angel Shmuel was typing diligently as I continued. "We in the US and other places around the world are experiencing a terrible rise in Antisemitism both on our campuses, on our streets and in social media. Fabrications about the Jewish people and State of Israel have proliferated everywhere. We, the Jewish people, have suffered enough. It is time for some respite!”
Angel Shmuel stopped typing. Ever so slowly he removed his glasses and cleaned them thoroughly. He then turned to me and said: “Rabbi, we have received complaints about Jewish concerns for safety and even survival from all over the world for many centuries. My drawer is full of complaints filed by rabbis about similar situations since the first century. Throughout the centuries the Jewish people have been traumatized by war and Antisemitism.
Rabbi, just as we have been saying for centuries, do not despair. The Jewish people are an evergreen nation, forever living. They are here as long as the world turns. You see,” said the good Angel Shmuel Rabinovitz. the Jewish people are blessed with Divine Light and nothing can destroy it. They are a giant tree with roots so deep in the ground, no hurricane can possibly topple it.”
“Be not afraid. G-D almighty, my boss, has your back. Keep the faith. Trust that what is good and decent will always be here. The darkness will never succeed.”
“However,” he continued, “just to be on the safe side, in my report to the boss, the big guy, I will mention your concerns so I can file them properly." With this Angel Shmuel wished all of us a great new Jewish year, a year of peace and tranquility all over the world.
Then he ended the meeting. I was left there with my new clean shirt and my nice kippah, trusting what Angel Rabinovitz said about the Jewish secret of survival and that our eternal Hope for a peaceful world, will be delivered upstairs.
May we all be blessed with a Happy and Healthy New Year. May this be year Peace reigns.
Shana Tova,
Rabbi David
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