For those of you who don't know yet, being a grandparent is a great joy and honor. But the responsibility, I will have you know is enormous and it's not suited for the faint of heart.

It begins when you are officially notified that your daughter or daughter-in-law is pregnant - Mazel Tov! 

After feeling the vibes of happiness/ecstasy for awhile (or a long while) it’s time to get to work- no time to waste. 

First thing on the agenda is coming up with the exact title you are to be referred to by the little one who was just created. So you thought this is easy? Think again. Cantor Lee for example  was agonizing with the issue for many months. She went through any possible two syllable combinations in seventy two languages and then with some strange combinations of her own - no deal.

So I came to her with help suggesting “Babushka” or even “Baba” That's when I learned  it's not such a good idea to give such suggestions to my wife when she is struggling  with such earth shattering matters. 

While I didn't fare any better, my repertoire  of possible names was somewhat less inclusive.  “Grandpa”? Na, it's so Passe. "Zaide?" What? Now I really cross  the Israeli line of pride and decency. If I give myself a Yiddish title, my Dad, may he rest in peace, would roll over  in his grave. Only a Hebrew name would do. “Zaide” was not even in the running. 

What finally got the nomination was the natural choice which would honor any Israeli grandfather. “Saba”- grandfather in Hebrew it would be. 

Owen, my now three year old grandson, learned quite quickly  that “Saba David”, the final canonized version of my title - is a very worthwhile item to commit to memory and invoke as often as possible. His cousin Skyler, my 16 month old was not too far behind in this realization. 

You see, human babies  are born with a specific DNA implant sequence which determines the golden grandparent rules. These include: Saba will never say no to you. Saba will get you any toy you want. He will do anything for you and will be ready to play on a second’s notice including roll on the carpet, become a cat, a dog, a lion, a car, a monkey (yes- a monkey) - whatever the play of the moment is. Oh, yes, arthritis or any old back, neck, shoulder injuries are absolutely no excuse to wiggle yourself out of your playing duty.   

If the interaction is through facetime then be ready at 6 o'clock am or for that matter, at any time of night or day to answer the call, ready to go armed with books about dump trucks, garbage trucks, baby animals, Grover, Elmo, back/front hoe loaders, birds that talk to frogs, a bunny rabbit and his loyal friend the worm … and the bit goes on.

Then of course your duties also include singing good old Sesame Street songs all adapted to more modern versions. This includes that lovely song about the big blue thing that no doubt has a severe case of diabetes after eating cookies for more than 60 years or the song about that nice fellow who lives in a garbage  can. 

Next is showing what I eat and how I make my food,  naming all the different food parts. Repeat the same when the second baby calls. This, according to my daughter, is an important campaign to enrich the baby’s vocabulary. 

Then there is a special grandfather duty assigned especially to me. That duty is classified under “Languages.” Namely Hebrew. You see, my daughter Rachel  will never ever forgive me for not speaking Hebrew to her as a child. She cast a blemish and a scar on my soul for eternity. 

However when Skyler was born and in a moment of father/daughter love she agreed to offer me a chance for redemption if Skyler would be able to speak Hebrew to me. So who in the world would pass up such an opportunity for spiritual redemption?!

So here I am, Saba David, engaging baby Skyler with Hebrew words. Redemption does not come easy.... Any suggestions? 

This concludes my Saba 101 presentation. 

Shalom,

Rabbi David aka Saba David

Here is Saba David in the garden with his helpers!

Bye All! Off to the park to play with my Saba David!!